-
Buy the books, "You Can
Design Your Own Web Site In Five Minutes", "What Designers Don't
Tell You About How Easy It 'Really' Is" and "You Know You Are
Smarter Than They Are - If They Can Do It, You Can Do It Better." New
-
Download a piece of Web
authoring software ~ 20 minutes.
-
Think about what you want to
write on your Web page ~ 6 weeks.
-
Download the same piece of Web
authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the
first time you downloaded it ~ 20 minutes.
-
Decide to just steal some images
and awards to put on your site ~ 1 minute.
-
Visit sites to find images and
awards, faint after seeing $200 per year licensing fees for photos, recover
and find 5 affordable images that you like ~ 4 days New
-
Run setup of your Web authoring
software. After it fails, download it again ~ 25 minutes.
-
Run setup again, boot the
software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do ~ 15 minutes.
-
View the source of others'
pages, steal some, change a few words here and there ~ 4 hours.
-
Preview your Web page using the
Web Authoring software ~ 1 minute.
-
Try to horizontally line up two
related images ~ 6 hours.
-
Remove one of the images ~ 10
seconds.
-
Set the text's font color to the
same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone ~ 4 hours.
-
Buy the book, "Web Design
for Dummies." New
-
Download a counter from your ISP
~ 4 minutes.
-
Try to figure out why your
counter reads "You are visitor number 16.3 E10" ~ 3 hours.
-
Put 4 blank lines between two
lines of text ~ 8 hours.
-
Fine-tune the text, then prepare
to load your Web page on your ISP ~ 40 minutes.
-
Accidentally delete your
complete web page ~ 1 second.
-
Buy the book, "Maintaining
Your Site for Dummies." New
-
Recreate your web page ~ 2 days.
-
Explain to your boss/client why
the site isn't showing up in Netscape 4.x ~ 5 minutes (it's over his/her
head - "just fix it!") New
-
Review your boss/client's
sister-in-law's site "to see how she did it and explain why you
"didn't do it more like that." ~ 1 hour New
-
Try to figure out how to load
your Web page onto your ISP's server ~ 3
weeks.
-
Call a patient friend to find
out about FTP ~ 30 minutes.
-
Download FTP software ~ 10
minutes.
-
Call your friend again ~ 15
minutes.
-
Buy the book, "FTP for
Dummies." New
-
Upload your web page to your
ISP's server ~ 10 minutes.
-
Connect to your site on the web
~ 1 minute.
-
Write to the FPlist to try to
determine why, after a simple FTP, your FP extended site is corrupted and
the borders are missing (you didn't notice until 24 hours later) ~ 1
nervous, shaky-handed minute New
-
Repair corruption damage ~ 2
days New
-
Spend two weeks trying to find
the web page files that have gotten lost, only to come to the conclusion
that you had better rebuild or spend the rest of your life in cyberspace.
You vow to -- BACKUP, BACKUP, BACKUP! No, I did not, yet again!
-
Explain to your boss/client why
the site is taking "weeks longer to develop" (as you absorb the
hours/cost.) New
-
Tweak your meta tags in
preparation for search engine submission ~ 1.5 hours & Tylenol (if you
have studied
previously - add 8-16 hours if not, since most "experts" disagree
and search engines are different.) New
-
Submit your site to the search
engines, including Yahoo,
AltaVista,
Google,
DMOZ,
business.com, etc. ~ 1.5 hours (you
eventually learn that it should be done manually) New
-
Explain to your boss (one day
later) why the site isn't showing up in the top 500, much less the top 10 ~
5 minutes. New
-
Re-explain to your boss or
client (one month later) why your site isn't showing up in the top 500, much
less the top 10 (again) ~ 5 minutes New
-
Buy Web positioning / promotion
software ~ 5 minutes New
-
Re-explain to your boss (three
months later -- repeated monthly) why your site isn't showing up in the top
500, much less the top 10 ~ 5 minutes New
-
Explain to your boss/client why
your competitors are ranking higher than you are and why his/her 13-year-old
daughter's Web site ranks higher than his business site. New
-
Buy new search engine software,
re-tweak your site, use the search engine software to build the doorways
& resubmit your site to the search engines, including
Yahoo,
AltaVista,
Google,
DMOZ,
business.com,
etc. ~ 2 hours New
-
Explain to your boss why your
site was disqualified for Spamming the index ~ 1 minute New
-
Help your boss find Web search
engine optimizing consultants ~ 15 minutes New
-
Carefully do AltaVista search on
Job opportunities while nervously watching for cubicle visitors ~ 1 hour New
-
Buy the book, "Why Did I
Get Into This Business for Dummies" ~ 5 minutes New
-
Spend the evening reflecting on
the fact that, despite it all, you really enjoy Web design. New
-
Repeat any and all of the
previous steps ~ eternity.
Note: We said 50 steps. Trust me, it will grow to 50, then 60.... New
